Diamonds and Gold
by alwaysbrennan
Summary: Collection of related Drabbles. Kate visits her mother's grave once every month of her pregnancy. Fluff, some Caskett, maybe some tears. AU.
1. Chapter 1

_Because I'm obsessed with Beckett having little Castle babies!_

_Castle = Not mine._

**ooOOoo**

"Hi, Mom."

Detective Kate Beckett crouched down on the ground next to her mother's grave, laying a handful of flowers at the headstone.

"Sorry I haven't been to see you very much recently. Life has been… busy." She chuckled to herself. "Rick and I have been married for six months, today. I still can't believe I'm Mrs. Katherine Castle now! It's surreal, really.

"Work is good. We are closer than we ever thought to finding your killer, Mom. It's definitely hard, for everyone. Castle follows me wherever I go. I swear that man is going to get himself killed someday, and I feel like it's going to be my fault. I'm putting everyone I love in danger, but I can't stop. I can't stop until I find him.

"But, ummmm, Dad's doing good too. He loves coming over to the loft and hanging out with Alexis. They get along so well, he has adopted her as his own granddaughter. Speaking of granddaughters. I—I've had this weird feeling lately. Mom, I think I'm pregnant. And I don't know what to do! I haven't told Rick yet, heck, I don't even know if my suspicions are correct!

"I needed to tell you first. Maybe it would take a little weight off my shoulders, or something. I don't know. God, how can I even do this? I mean, raising a child with the life I have? I'm a cop, a detective. I'm constantly put in the path of danger! I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm even cut out to be a mother.

"But a child – a baby – seems like a blessing at the same time. You know? Like a sign from the universe. Rick, will just be overjoyed, I can just see his face! He is such a wonderful father and he constantly tells me I would make a great mother. I want to believe him. And I know I would love our child. A girl perhaps. A daughter, that I can play dress up with, braid her hair, and giggle over silly movies. A baby girl.

She pauses, collecting her thoughts as she stands.

"I wish you were here, Mom. I could use your guidance. I miss you, Mom, every single day. I love you."

**ooOOoo**

_So, basically every chapter/drabble will be a month. I will try to update every other day. Try, being the keyword._

_R&R (I hate saying that)_


	2. Chapter 2

"I was right," Kate announced as she walked up to her mother's headstone.

"I was right, but I didn't buy a test until a few weeks after. I mean, who knows they're pregnant during the first month? It's definitely crazy."

Instead of taking her normal spot on the ground Kate stayed standing, slightly rocking side to side. The thrill of knowing absolutely she was carrying a child – her and Rick's child – was exhilarating. She found herself never wanting to stand still or sit. Nerves, perhaps. Excitement, more likely.

"I can't stay long. Rick is waiting in the car… we had our first appointment today. He is taking me out to dinner. 'To celebrate,' he said. Ha! What he really wants to do is fatten me up!"

She laughed into the wind before her face turned solemn.

"It was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed. My heart was probably beating a mile a minute and my hands were sweaty, but Rick… Rick just took my hand and squeezed.

"You could barely see anything; the baby's like a peanut, not even! No heartbeat yet, but the doctor said that was normal. I fell in love with that little grainy peanut the moment I saw it. And all I could think about was you," she cried. Kate tried to keep it together, but the tears started rolling down, one by one. "I kept thinking about how you must have looked when you saw me for the first time. What you thought about.

"I want to be able share those things with you. God, Mom, I wish you could have been there. I wish you were here right now." There was no use trying to calm herself down. The mixture of hormones and grief were not the best combination.

Wiping the tear tracks from her cheeks and dabbing her nose, Kate reached into her purse. She pulled out a tiny black and white picture with the utmost reverence.

"I, ummm, I want you to have this. The first picture of your grandchild. Hopefully you are here in spirit, or whatever Castle would say." She rolled her eyes, but looked up to the sky.

"I love you, Mom."

She bent over and safely tucked the picture behind the flower holder. It might not be here the next time she came, but she knew her mother would see it. She could only hope.

**ooOOoo**

_Meh, not quite what I wanted. Thanks for the one review and alerts, guys :) Very nice._


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, Mom," Kate greeted as she spread a small blanket on the ground and made herself comfortable.

The November weather was particularly chilly today. The ground was frostbitten from the early morning rain, but the sun was currently breaking through the clouds, giving off a soft glow. The blanket, however, was not only out of necessity. It was the Beckett Family picnic blanket. Blue, white, and yellow patterns adorned the cloth. It gave Kate a sense of security… and yes, it was quite comfortable.

"First things first! I couldn't fit into my freaking pants this morning!" Kate barked, but to anyone, her tone of voice reflected humor and a tiny bit of annoyance, not anger. "There is no bump, though. I have no baby bump, yet I can't fit into my pants. It's messed up! I almost settled for leggings and a dress, but luckily I have the most thoughtful stepdaughter in the world."

Tired of keeping her back straight, Kate leaned back and supported herself with her arms. The sun beat against her face and she smiled in remembrance. Every single day she thanked the people up above who gave her such a wonderful family. A wonderful life.

Sucking in a deep breath she continued, "She overheard my frustration and simply walked into the room, dropped a gift bag on my bed, and left without saying a word. I really had no clue what to think. It's nowhere near my birthday, Christmas is close, but a present now? Thankfully there was a card resting on top… Let me just get it," she said as she rummaged through her purse, "'Dear Mom', I still get butterflies when I hear that,

'Dear Mom, I figured this day would come and you wouldn't be prepared. Let's face it, even though you're pregnant and you _know_ you're pregnant, you didn't think about the fact that you would eventually gain weight. Don't deny it. So, I went shopping for you! I definitely got some weird looks while I browsed the maternity section, but a daughter has to do what a daughter has to do! I only got one pair because I didn't know exactly how they would fit, but they are your favorite brand, so I'm guessing they will work just fine.

Please, don't be mad at me! I know you hold grudges against those who go behind your back, but it's for your own good!

Oh, and Dad had nothing to do with this. Just me.

Love you,

Alexis'

"She bought me a pair of jeans! A very stylish and comfortable pair of jeans that actually fit me! Greatest daughter in the world!"

Kate folded the card and slipped it back into her purse, but not before skimming over it one last time.

Her family knew her better than she did. How they always knew exactly what she needed was a mystery in itself. The other day Castle sat down a plate of unfrosted strawberry Pop tarts smothered with peanut butter in front of her because he magically knew she wanted them. She never even told him she was craving it!

"So, yeah, the pregnancy is starting to feel real. Gaining weight, crazy cravings, and mood swings. Fortunately, I haven't had the worst case of morning sickness. Although dead bodies do make me queasy now, which is not cool. Esposito and Ryan love to make fun of me.

"We told Dad the news about a week ago. I wanted to get past the 12-week mark, just to be safe. You know what he said? He said he already knew! You should have seen Rick's face – you should have seen my face! He said you told him, which is ridiculous, sorry, but true. When the joke was over he admitted to visiting you and seeing the ultrasound picture… which is now safely tucked in his wallet. I could tell he was jealous that I told you first," she laughed at the memory and because she was rambling on to her deceased mother.

Good thing there weren't many onlookers today and thank God the reporters didn't follow her. There's a _silly_ rumor going around that Mrs. Richard Castle is expecting her first child. They have been hounding the family, but still have yet to find proof. It will stay that way too, until she and Castle are ready to release a statement.

"Well, even though I brought the picnic blanket, I failed to bring food with it and the baby is hungry." That was her ultimate excuse these days. "I'm stealing Alexis away from school and taking her out to lunch as a thank you. Then we will be even because she hates missing school!

"I'll be back next month, Mom. Hopefully with evidence of a baby bump! Love you."

**ooOOoo**

_Whew, definitely a longer drabble! I absolutely loved writing this one, hopefully you love it too. I can just see Kate getting upset about these small things! Anyway, more to follow soon :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry, kinda late. This did NOT want to be written! But here we go... Oh yeah, there is one bad word and some adult insinuation, not much though. _

**ooOOoo**

"Hey Mom, I brought a visitor!"

Kate practically had to drag Castle out of the car. He told her he didn't want to intrude. What a complete load of crap.

"Hello, Mrs. Beckett," Castle finally spoke up.

"Don't mind him. He's sulking, for whatever reason," Kate said in a teasing voice.

Instead of continuing, she tugged on Castle's arm and pulled him down so his ear brushed against her mouth. She whispered something only he could hear. A second later a smile graced his face, his eyes darted back and forth, but he continued to listen. Kate gave him a saucy grin as she pulled away, nodding her head as to say 'go ahead'.

"Kate has given me permission to tell you, or well, show you. You see, this morning we were about to, ummmmm, about to get dressed. Yeah. Kate was—she was… she was changing and I saw it! She hadn't even noticed, but I did. It was a bump! Very miniscule, but definitely there. It just appeared over night!" He exclaimed.

"What Rick is trying to say is that our baby finally decided to make his or her presence known. I officially have a baby bump! It's about damn time too! I was getting sick of gaining weight and having nothing to show for it."

"You look great, honey."

"That's right, lay it on thick, babe!" She rolled her eyes, but leaned in for a quick peck on the lips. Castle had been very supportive over the last month. He's dealt with her rapidly changing mood swings, always staying calm and rational, giving her lots of compliments when she needed them the most.

"Well you can't tell under that heavy jacket, Kate. Here, let's take a closer look," he demanded, already going for the buttons on her jacket.

Not really understanding, Kate tried to swat his hands away. "What are you doing? It's cold!"

"Just show your mom your baby bump," he said, "She would want to see," he added.

Kate cocked her head to one side, but the look on Rick's face made her surrender. "Oh geez, what the heck." She unbuttoned the jacket and unzipped the sweater that was underneath, turned to the side, and posed. "Our little bump," she whispered in awe, rubbing her hand in small circles over her stomach. "Isn't it cute?"

Eventually Rick came up behind her and placed his hands on top. "It's amazing. Hey baby, you are going to be the most beautiful thing in the world. Say hello to your Grandma," he cooed while looking down over Kate's shoulder. He waited a second then lifted his head and spoke to the headstone, "Well, unfortunately he or she is too small to give us a little kick, but I know _it _says 'hi'."

"Alright, baby is getting cold." She wrapped herself up in the two layers of warmth. "Okay Mom, I will be back again soon. Without Rick because he makes me do stupid things!" She laughed. "I say this all the time, but I miss you, this is hard without you, but I know you're watching over us."

"Bye, Mrs. Beckett. It's been a pleasure."

Kate and Rick walked away hand in hand.

"How about we get some hot chocolate?" Castle asked like a kid in a candy store.

"Are you sure you want hot chocolate, Castle? I remember promising you something a little more… steamy," Kate purred.

"Katherine Beckett, such a tease. And in front of your mother!"

"She can't hear me." At that Kate let go of his hand and quickly ran to the car.

She let Castle drive home.


	5. Chapter 5

_Yes, I know. Last chapter was a bit lame... hence no reviews :( Hopefully this is better!_

**ooOOoo**

"Merry Christmas, Mom," Kate sang merrily.

The holiday season spent with family and friends had boosted her spirits enough that she could bare the vacant spot only her mother could fill. It was always hard. Christmas used to be filled with so much joy at the Beckett household, but after Johanna was taken from them it simply became a dreaded holiday. Not anymore, though. She had Castle and everyone at the 12th to thank for that.

"We just got done opening presents. I don't think I've ever gotten so many gifts before! Jewelry, shoes, Rick got me an iPad – which I told him I don't need, but he insisted," she growled. "Alexis definitely had a theme going. I got a 'World's Most Extraordinary Mother' coffee mug, a baby onesie that reads, 'I Have the Best Mom Ever', A Mother/Daughter Spa treatment, and a set of silver plated building blocks for my desk at work. They hold several different photos of Alexis and Rick, me and Alexis, Rick and I; some are blank for the baby. She said we could have them engraved when a name is chosen. I was a blubbering mess after that. The Castle family sure does like to spoil me.

"Speaking of the baby, or shall I say the little monster who won't let me sleep at night!" She exclaimed. "Too many trips to the bathroom or the refrigerator. And it likes to squirm! It's so weird, feeling it move inside me," she said as she placed a protective hand on her now protruding stomach. "No kicking just yet, much to Rick's disappointment. He never misses an opportunity to say 'That's not fair!' when I get to feel all the flutters from the inside.

"We had our five month appointment a couple days ago. I can't believe I'm past the 20-week mark," she mused aloud. "The baby is healthy, but a little small for this stage. They told me it was to be expected, though, with my height and small frame. Apparently I need to eat more, which is really hard to fathom… I eat more than five meals a day it seems like!

"At the appointment we had the chance to find out the gender, but I want it to be a surprise. Rick was not a happy camper after that! He can gripe and moan all he wants, but it will be a surprise," she spoke pointedly. "Our little cutie is about ten inches from head to toe; you could see its little fingers uncurling! I think next time we get to have a 3D ultrasound… I've never heard of such a thing, it's somewhat new. It's going to give us a hint of what he or she looks like! That picture will be framed."

"Well, I must be getting back. A great feast is about to be served and I wouldn't miss it for the world. After it's a movie marathon. I told Rick we have to watch _Meet Me in St. Louis _because it was your favorite.

"Merry Christmas again. I love you."

**ooOOoo**

_I'm thinking about maybe having a five and a half month chapter... A little ditty added tomorrow. What do you think?_

_I would love a review, or even an alert... please. _


	6. Chapter 5 and a half

_I am so profusely sorry for the lack of updates. Inspiration is a fickle bugger! But here I am at a strange airport, halfway through my 3 hour layover, typing away! This chapter is a little different, setup wise. I think you will like it though :) I had a couple requests for a five and a half month update, so here it is!_

**ooOOoo**

It hadn't been a month yet. It hadn't even been two weeks.

_New Years had passed quickly and uneventfully. Kate hadn't felt like going out so Castle cooked dinner and they fell asleep in front of the fireplace before the ball dropped. Plenty of pillows and blankets were involved for obvious reasons._

_Much to Kate's delight – after a week's vacation – the precinct was bustling with murder suspects and witnesses. And she was allowed to interrogate, no matter what Castle said. During a routine questioning, however, Kate managed to become distracted. With Castle in the observation room, she turned to face him and smiled brightly, eyes wide open in amazement. Immediately he left the room at the same time she struggled out of her seat. They bumped into each other in the hallway._

"_Rick! It kicked! I felt it kick!" Kate exclaimed. "Here feel," she took his hand and rested the palm against her stomach, right above her belly button._

_They waited for a minute._

"_I don't feel anything," Rick grumbled quietly, his disappointment clearly showing through his eyes._

"_It hasn't even been a minute, you big baby. Give it time. There is a baby in there waiting to kick his Daddy."_

_Kate could feel the baby squirming inside, unknown to the excited daddy standing in front of her. She moved their joined hands a little to the right and pressed down slightly._

_One moment Rick's face was blank, the next his eyes shined and his lips curled upward. Pure joy was radiating from his face, a proud daddy he was. Kate watched in amusement as the baby gave them a few more kicks before retreating. She knew Rick had been waiting for this day forever. The jealously he'd been exuding over the past month was almost intolerable. She had to put up with his never-ending pouting day after day. Now, when she looked into his eyes she saw that jealousy quickly leave him, replaced was a sense of wonder and accomplishment. They made the life growing inside of her. She was carrying it, but he helped create it. And he was supporting her through everything._

"_It kicked! Oh my God, it kicked… I – I could feel it! Wow," he ended his jumbled sentences chocked up on emotions. "Kate," he said reverently. "Thank you. Thank you. This is amazing. I love you so much."_

"_I love you too."_

_Rick dropped his head and cupped Kate's stomach with both hands, "Hey little one, it's your Daddy! I'm so proud of you. Giving me a few good kicks, it made my day. Alright, you be good for Mommy, she's gotta go interrogate the bad guys."_

_Kate had completely forgotten about the suspect in the interrogation room. She didn't want to go back in and deal with the details of a gruesome murder. She wanted to stay with Rick, go home and take a bath, or go talk to her mother._

"_Esposito!" She yelled over the bustle of the precinct. "Take over. I'm leaving early."_

An hour later Kate found herself standing in front of her mother's headstone in the brutal winter weather.

"Mom, the baby kicked," she expelled with happiness. "An honest to goodness kick. Rick could actually feel it! It happened at work and I just had to leave and come here, despite the rain and mush covering the sidewalks. Rick is having a cow in the car, by the way," she chuckled. He never learned.

"I want to stay longer. I want to share this whole experience with you. It really is quite amazing. I mean, I know you know, since you were pregnant with me. This is just so crazy. My connection to this little one growing inside me is overwhelming. I wish I could share that with you. Somewhere deep inside I know you are watching over me, keeping me safe and helping me find happiness. I want to believe that. With all my heart.

"Love you, Mom. I'll be back soon, I promise." With her sentiments left behind, Kate began to turn back towards the car. Before she could get very far the baby decided to give a light thump for its grandmother. Kate instantly felt warm tears roll down her cheeks. "The baby says 'bye and I love you too'," she cried softly, wiping the tears with her sleeve.

**ooOOoo**

_I hope to maybe have another chapter - Six Months - posted a little later today. We will see. Please, leave a review and let me know what your thoughts! Much thanks!_


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